A little over six months ago, I decided to pack up my things from Spain and move back to California. Full of motivation and excitement. An optimistic view on how I was going to be in the startup world.
Instead, I was met with a big bucket of cold American work ethics and a splash of reality. A high school friend told me “A job at a startup could be the best experience you’ve ever had or the worst.” Here’s how its shaping up…
Ever Changing Processes
Simply put, I feel like I’m baking a dozen of chocolate chip cookies only for someone to realize that they don’t like chocolate chip anymore. Then, I bake oatmeal cookies instead, at which point they said they want muffins now. Do I continue to make cookies or change to muffins? Or not make anything?
I’m realizing that I’m the one that needs to change. Startups need to be able stay flexible and adapt to the overall picture of what we perceive our value added is. My first thought is to grit my teeth and keep all the work I’ve done to plan things out. Are you sure you don’t want cookies? I’m slowly learning not to take it personally when I toss out everything I did the week before. Let me get started on those muffins for you…
Unlimited Vacation versus 4 Weeks of Vacation
When I first joined the company, I thought unlimited vacation meant that I could take a vacation whenever. There wasn’t a set time limit or negative connotation with it. “Unlimited” is a trick word. I should have googled it. In most scenarios, people take less vacation when it’s unlimited.
I self-guilt myself into taking less time off. I find myself checking my email whenever I’m away to make sure I pull my weight at work. The company is small, my day-off affects other people. If I leave, then someone else has to pick up the slack. I worry the impression it has on everyone else. So instead I try to do mini weekend trips. Anything to not disrupt work.
Me in Colorado over a weekend.
The Struggle with Nomadic Life
I spent so many years changing my lifestyle that I don’t want to slip back into the same habits. Working all the time. Going home only to feed my cat and sleep. How easily I found myself doing the same thing at this startup. First one there, last one to leave. I had a moment where I saw this happening.
Hard stop. I close my laptop and leave now. I tell myself it (work) will be there tomorrow.
Is the startup culture to work day and night? Is that the way to succeed? If there’s anything I want to bring to this company, it’s that you can be successful while valuing employee work life balance. Lead by example. People will work harder naturally when they believe in the company. I work a lot, but I also play a lot. Both can exist at the same time.
Salary Expectations
Generally, startups pay about 30% less than industry standards. I think thats because you are taking on some risk for a bigger payout further down the line. Does this work for me? Starting to think about my “worth” I wanted to know the right blend. What’s the formula?
What is/was the lowest wage (excluding volunteering)?
Answer: 35 euros / day for scuba guiding. Commuting an hour each way by bus, leaving my place at 7am and returning home around 4pm.
Worth it. I loved the family-run business in Spain. I spent most my day in the ocean and showing people octopus and fishes. The day always went by quickly and I enjoyed spending time at the “office.” It’s not a job that would pay all the bills, but yes, 100% return on time and happiness.
What’s the perfect blend?
Sometimes I question if my stress and emotional roller coaster is worth the salary.
Am I selling myself short? Salary doesn’t matter, but it does when you go home feeling stressed out, confused and undervalued in the company. I’m still trying to figure out the stress limits I will accept at this salary level. If I got paid more, would I mind the stress and personal time sacrifice? Or on the flip side, since I have a lower salary, how do I limit my stress to be happy?
Formula:
A. (Winner): (Salary Expectation)-(less at a job where you like the mission and co-workers) = $$
B. (Salary Expectation) + (Stress Factor x base salary) =$$$$
1 on 1 meetings vs Performance Reviews
In the start up world, these 1 on 1 meetings feel like a mini therapy sessions. I’m talking about my interactions, my motivations and opportunities of self improvement.
Caught in between two generations: Gen X and Millennials.
Gen X: work work work.
Millennials: talk talk talk.
I don’t need to talk about my feelings, but as a manager I need to give my team the opportunity to vent and grow.
From the Manager POV
During these mini performance reviews, I follow the template: what’s going well, what needs improvement, ask questions about the company, and take feedback. Sometimes I have nothing but compliments and we high five each other. Other times, I can feel tension growing… hearing them slam down their notes on the keyboard of all the things they want to tell me. I try to understand their point of view and explain what’s going on. I try not to show them if I am also feeling the same thing. I want to stay positive and keep them performing.
From the team member POV
For some reason, when the table flips and I am the team member and not the manager, I get anxious and hesitant. I don’t like talking about everything going on. The relational energy isn’t there. I focus more on how I’m failing instead. I vent without clear direction of what I expect to change at the company.
Rinse and repeat each month. I’m in a relationship where the other person wants to “talk” about their feelings all the time. Emotionally draining.
I try to think about how start-ups want to feel connected to their employees. Is this working? Does it help retention and company performance?
Let’s Hang Out – Outside of Work
“You mean you actually like going out with co-workers??”
Yup. Believe it or not. The best part of the start up life is working with people my age or younger. Connecting over something new together. We vent to each other. We like hanging out.
I’m not afraid to be myself. Previously, I never wanted my co-workers to know everything about me. I wanted to be the “A Student.” I never did anything wrong, and I always just worked hard.
Now, I can be both. My coworkers know I’m human and live outside of work. I dress the same at work as I do after work. I don’t have to hide who I am.
This feels good.
Conclusions
More and more, I do feel that I am growing more from this experience. Good or bad, I’m happy to be back in California and working with people close to my age. It’s easy to live on an island and scuba dive everyday. The challenge is trying things that you might not be comfortable with. I’m learning a lot and have no doubt it was the right decision. Is it my new career? That I can’t say. I can’t say that I will be doing this next year. The startup could fail. Things change.
Note – I wrote this in April, and am only now posting (due to laziness)…
Love this! When are we going to meet up again?